Forgive yourself!

This year’s new year’s resolution for me was not related to a physical change I was going to implement. But, as it was last year, it was an emotional change. I think those maybe even harder to keep than the work-out or diet resolutions some people break so quickly in the beginning of the year. Because this gets to the core of you. It challenges you to look anew at yourself, and the way you’ve been living. It says, why do you behave that way, why is there an automatic response when this happens? Where does it all come from, and should it stay that way? Well, this year’s point of change has to do with being able to forgive myself. As a perfectionist, this is the hardest thing to do. I will scrutinize my mistakes for days, weeks, months and sometimes (based on the severity of it) years. I am critical to others around me as well, which stems from the same poisonous well, but I am infinitely harder on myself. Understanding and acknowledging the fact that we are all human and make mistakes and to shake it off and move on when it happens is a very freeing experience for me. Even though this is a step into completely unfamiliar territory, I am willing to go there, for the sake of my “self-improvement”. Really, it is God giving me the ability to forgive, as he has forgiven me, when I blew it. God loves us unconditionally, so we should love ourselves the same way. Even when we make mistakes.
Another aspect of being able to let go as a perfectionist is the question “Does this really matter in the long run?” That simplifies a large portion of life. And thus I’m learning to look at the big picture and love myself while I’m journeying along the scenic route, smelling roses along the way…well, babysteps!