Dreams and Disillusionment

One thing I really dislike about wishing for things to be different is the point where you realize, it’s just a dream, and you wake up to reality. The disappointment that arises out of that awakening quickly turns into anger towards the here and now. Realizing this may be as good as it gets, evokes a resentful response. One has to be very careful not to allow those feelings any room, or else those who dare to invade your space maybe struck down with unnecessary force out of the blue. Or the realization may turn into lethargy and depression-both of which I am well familiar with. Maybe other people have learned to better control their disappointment and have settled into their mediocrity. The acceptance that this is “as good as it gets”-attitude -per the aptly named movie-keeps us from stretching for what may lay beyond our horizon. I think if I have learned anything from biographies of famous people is that you should never stop trying, and destiny will eventually reward you with the fulfillment of your dream. Obviously this does not happen overnight, lots of hard work and resolve is mandatory for such an undertaking. Or one can just quit trying all together to prevent this stage of disillusionment. Seems feasible enough just like when you get trampled on and back stabbed enough, quit being vulnerable by remaining at arm’s length with people. That has worked well for me over the years. Having lots of superficial relationships, thus minimizing the risk of being hurt provides a sort of preventative damage control, if you will. Our existence as emotional beings certainly presents these types of dilemmas in our everyday lives, which we have to resolve, one way or another. And herein lays the main quandary, which road should I take, which decision should I make, or not make. But not acting in times of decision is also a decision, one of indecision, which can carry with it even more serious consequences, those of defeat and resignation. Enough deep thoughts for now, back to procrastination and busyness, which prevents further thinking about decisions, decisions…